Ramble On - Another year on the road

What am I doing, what was I thinking? How will I survive?

It never failed. The night before leaving there was always a meltdown. The unknown suddenly seemed dark and foreboding, impossibly impenetrable. Yet, the desire would override the fear - again. And the next day, wobbly, I would hoist my satchel on my shoulder and head on out, voices be damned.

“Ramble #6” Acrylic, toner on panel. ©Amy Guion Clay

I always wanted to be the one to go first. I hated to be left behind waving from the shore stirring the home fires. No, I wanted to be the one at the bow of the ship, sea-spray in my face, pointed toward the horizon like some heroic Jason (never mind getting slapped in the face from flying fish flinging themselves starboard).

I proudly raised my freedom flag from an early age, hid it from the light in secret caves at times, only to unfurl it again years later. This Jolly Roger was a declaration of defiance - fearless and free (even when I was tethered and scared).

I don’t always know what the yearning is about. Sometimes in the past it was escape - like leaving a burgeoning career in full swing as a fashion designer in NYC back in the 80’s, knowing my soul was withering away in the grime and game of the city.

But more often than not, it was/is a propelling TOWARD something, fueled by an intense curiosity. The longing to go was aptly scribed by Robert Plant and Led Zep in these poetic lyrics:

“There’s a feeling I get when I look to the West,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.”

Overlooking Pouch Cove, Newfoundland. Credit: Pouch Cove Foundation. 2019

So as I prepare to leave for another year of artist residencies around the world, beginning at Pouch Cove Foundation in Newfoundland (yes, that’s Newfoundland in the winter!), I’m reflecting on the unsatiated, continued longing to GO. For better or worse. And there have been times during my travels in the past when I have even cursed my wanderlust. Never mind - like all things in life, everything is a choice. And this is mine.

So what propels you to travel, to pull up the anchor and head west? A Mai Tai by the beach? A hike through the Dolomites? An RV trip to the National Parks? What is the longing that takes you there?

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If you want to know more about artist residencies, check out my online course all about how to research, apply to and attend one here: